Random Fusion

Not the Garth Brooks song, but people I've known in my life.

First off, I have made a handful of mistakes, BIG mistakes in my life in regards to people I have and still call, Friends. Some of those mistakes were made out of a lack of experience and some were made by personal insecurities.

When I was younger, I was the type of kid who had to have his friends do what he wanted and it took a long time growing up to realize that this was not a good way to act. In my teens, I was very selective of the people I made friends with, partly due to huge insecurities I had and partly because I didnt know many people who were like me (geeky, barely smart and barely athletic).

When I was an adult, in university and after, I had numerous and huge insecurities and personal troubles. My friends were few and far between and I made no real attempts to get to know anyone with any depth. Looking back on it now, I beleive that many people made the attempt to become my friend, but in my shyness and detached way, I didnt return the feelings, which is something I regret.

In my early 20s, I made friends with some folks that treated me better then I have ever been treated before and became the friends that I had always wanted, with decency and respect, things I had not really gotten before. After meeting them and being with them for a while, I had, in short, a personal breakdown. One of the numerous side effects of the breakdown was that I lost my grip on reality. My perception of events and people changed and how I reacted to things changed, and not for the better. In that time, I hurt a lot of people very badly, something that I can not express how I feel. I would say I regret doing it, but regret doesnt really cover it. So, those people stopped talking to me (rightly so) and I very slowly got on with my life.

Now as I move into my 30s, almost ten years has passed since those darker days and I look to try and fix some of my mistakes, reconnect with those lost friends, and try to look back on those days with a smile. I also look around me and see that I have friends and that perhaps they need to know a few things.

Even if I dont call or talk to you often (which sometimes I Cant help) your still a friend and a phone call from you is something I will never say no to. I am a shy person, so making the first move to call you or msg you or email you out of the blue, is something I dont do easily. If I havent said your a friend, that doesnt mean anything, again, I am a shy person. I have, as of late, become a hermit, and it has made it seem like I dont do anything and well, your right. Work takes up so much of my time lately that I can not seem to get out of the house to visit with friends. If you want to hang out, call and say your dragging me over to the Toad for a drink. I wont say no (if I can help it).

Well, thats a lot of rambling. Sorry if its incoherent.

Posted by Random Fusion at 12:41 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Well, the World of Warcraft Beta Stress Test closed on Sunday evening and it was hard to let go. I tried to log back in once...ok well, twice, to no avail. Alas it was over and I had to get on with my life. Now that the stress test is over, I can tell you that I will pre order this copy when I get the chance. I will get the Gold edition or whatever special edition they put out. I loved this game. First off, its HUGE. The world that this game inhabits is massive to the Nth degree. Running is the main mode of transportation available to most players. It took me 20 minutes for my character to run from the top of one area of the map to the other. 20 minutes! Real time! And the starting map for my initial chacter is tiny! There are literall dozens of similar sized (or larger) maps across the continent I am on! And there are TWO continents. And thats just the stuff above ground.

The sheer size of the world got me hooked first. The graphics got me second. This stuff, while very similar to other Warcraft games, is still new enough to be exciting. There are animations for everything your character does, from running to walking and even to sitting. The character fidgets, twitches, leans on one foot and puts his hand on his hip. After the size of the world and the graphics are done surprising you, you begin to get a sense of how broad and deep character development is. You can be one of eight different races, each with male and female types. Each of those races and sexes has at least 5 classes to choose from. You could be a human warrior, a night elf druid or a orc shaman, to name only the three most popular. There are dwarves and the undead and minotaur type race called the Tauren (they look like minotaurs but they aint).

There is so much to this game, that for the first time since Diablo II came out (another Blizzard masterpiece) I spent a WHOLE weekend playing this game. I loved it that much. I will be desperately trying to get into the open beta next month.

Posted by Random Fusion at 9:22 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I've gone back to the default template for the next month while I get ready to overhaul MT and the layout. In about a month or so, the fine gentleman who lets this page live on his server, will help me through the process of updating Moveable Type to the latest version. In preparation for that, I'm doing some house cleaning, some tyding up and some prep for a change.

I cant think of a new layout off the top of my head just yet but I am sure something will come along. Please pardon the rudimentry look of the site till then.

Thanks very much, come again.

Posted by Random Fusion at 5:29 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Nothing much to say at the moment. Can't think of too much.

Week is over, things went well this week for some strange reason. Maybe because it was a short weeek. I dunno, maybe all the bad stuff will come next week, who knows.

This past week or so my free time away from work has been stolen from me by a most excellent past time. I managed to get into the Beta Stress Test for World of Warcraft. It is amazing. The game is HUGE and purchasing it will be WELL worth the cost that they charge me. The game is amazing. Ive been playing mostly as a human warrior, but I also have a dwarf, orc, tauren and night elf, all of which are fun. I am looking forward to this for sure.

Doh, gotta go.

Posted by Random Fusion at 5:33 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

A long December and there's reason to believe
Maybe this year will be better than the last
I can't remember the last thing that you said as you were leaven'
Now the days go by so fast
And it's one more day up in the canyons
And it's one more night in Hollywood
If you think that I could be forgiven...I wish you would
The smell of hospitals in winter
And the feeling that it's all a lot of oysters, but no pearls
All at once you look across a crowded room
To see the way that light attaches to a girl
And it's one more day up in the canyons
And it's one more night in Hollywood
If you think you might come to California...I think you should
Drove up to Hillside Manor sometime after two a.m.
And talked a little while about the year
I guess the winter makes you laugh a little slower,
Makes you talk a little lower about the things you could not show her
And it's been a long December and there's reason to believe
Maybe this year will be better than the last
I can't remember all the times I tried to tell my myself
To hold on to these moments as they pass
And it's one more day up in the canyon
And it's one more night in Hollywood
It's been so long since I've seen the ocean...I guess I should

Posted by Random Fusion at 10:02 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)